In the mid-90s, collect calling became big business, with a bizarre boom of different
collect calling advertising hitting the airwaves. Besides
1800 Collect, there were all of the long distance ads for the #'s you were supposed to dial before a regular number, like "
dial 1010 before dialing". With so many of them, no one could keep them straight. Saturday night live advised people "Save by calling
10-10-1776-5-28-1830-242-3-316-68-22".
At some point, finally, the obvious question was asked amid Carrot Top ATT commercials,
Newman from Seinfeld doing his bit, and (my favorite)
Calvert DeForest collect ads - since when did anyone give a damn about collect calling? Somewhere hidden behind the high gloss of the commercials was a product no one really could remember being that important or useful, or really that expensive to begin with.
No one was sitting around jonesing for cheaper collect calls. Then the cell phone came and killed the trend (at least cell phones did one thing we should all be happy about).
It occurred to me video rental has kind of become like Collect Calling in the 90s. Way too much pomp and dazzle for perks that don't really matter on the backend, misdirection, pumping up 'features' that were invented to keep your eye off the simplicity of the deal: Don't rent more than 3 movies at a time, return them in a decent amount of time, don't lend them to random people. Done. Don't overthink it. Let's come together, over the course of your renting life, renting at place X or Y will probably not make much difference moneywise. Particularly down the line. This isn't a huge investment. Either you pay a flat monthly fee and then maybe you get your moneys worth, since, again, some honesty, most people will still be keeping what they rent longer than makes it worth it.
And oddly, The people who think the most about the fine print of renting usually are the worst renters. We want you to be passionate about movies, not about movie renting.
A mix of old and new rental habits have made the consumer think he has to outsmart his or her rental choice in order to get a good deal. This isn't a battle, you don't have to become a fugitive if you lose a movie, you don't have to pass a test to rent. Get a
good movie first!
Most of the new "perks" are steps back.
Hell, most of the 5 day rental nonsense stems from old late fee policy where stores wanted you to keep them as long as possible (or the polar opposite who watches it in only 1 day rental nightmare, are we backwards for offering 2-3 day rentals?). The same goes for the 'unlimited' programs. The people who obsess about an unlimited rental plan are usually, again, keeping 2 minor movies for 3 weeks anyway, which makes the value of these programs something you have to work at, which again is not how it should be.
From the business side, vending machines and movies by mail make sense, not because of the benefit to the customer but because from a business angle you never have to ever meet or see a customer. Total lack of accountability. Rev that calling center and online customer support up. It's brilliant once you figure out a way to get customers to think it was their idea!
And I understand the feeling. Typically, the most vocal and pushy customers are also the worst. They usually will reference other video store prices.......incorrectly. This was a good convo from last week:
(man, drunk) "I could go to b______buster and rent movies for a quarter, and they let you keep them for 45 days, and they'll have _______ (insert third string rob schneider movie here)".
This is another good one - "Let's go to X. They don't have late fees"
The funny thing is no one who says this ever actually knows what OUR late fee policy is.
Here's the nuts and bolts:
This is not a medical decision, it isn't a riddle. Everyone likes to feel like they got one up on saving money, pulled one over on a business, but it is time for a simple fact: Video Rental, whether it is the constantly dragged into a lawsuit by their customers
BB and
Netflix, or a vending machine you feel comfortable
sliding your Credit card into you wouldn't trust us with, is not an arena of heroic struggle.
I know you just stayed the night at a holiday inn express, but come in and rent, don't research. I know the rental ads from online and off try to scare you into thinking you could get hoodwinked, but those ads are usually by the same companies that did the hoodwinking in the past.
It is not ever going to be a sphere of life that will determine whether you are smarter, faster, hipper, sneakier, or better than someone else (including us). Rent movies because you want to see something that will effect you, come to Best Place Ever because it is the best movie store run by mere mortals, because it is locally owned, not because you need to prove something. Grab your red bull and Go to a club for that.
The same people who storm out of BPE because we won't give them a cash refund on a dvd because they "didnt like it", or they rented a samurai movie and they really wanted kung-fu, don't realize that no video store, locally owned or mainstream wants that kind of business.
The secret is BPE and its 3 owners, delusional and against all common sense, really do want you to watch good movies, painlessly and with friends. If people can pay $5 for a cup of coffee like its nothing, then why not pay far less for a piece of art or entertainment? We won't accidentally scald your groin if you spill us, and we won't ever ask if you want to rent your movies "grande".
